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Telling Our Grief Story: The Forgotten Audience

We find ourselves pulled toward others who have lost loved ones like us. We want to help, to listen or to offer guidance. We may even decide to share our experiences in a larger forum.

We blog. We write articles. We speak to groups, but we may not reach the numbers we hope for. And thus, we experience frustration. Or disillusionment. We found meaning in our suffering by sharing what we learn with others, but our efforts aren’t getting much of anywhere.toniporchphoto2

We must not think our stories are wasted, nor put pressure on ourselves, nor put time constraints on God, for before the stories were written for others, they were written for us.

Know that even if you don’t get your story to the masses, it reached its primary target.

God wrote the story to reach you first.

He was there at the moment you learned your daddy died. He was there when your well-meaning friends said all the wrong things. He was there when you found solace in music, or saw a reflection of your mother in your newborn’s face. God gave you joys to counter the sorrow.

You know your story, how you were mad at God. And then after you yelled at him, you still felt his presence. He hadn’t left you alone. And eventually you weren’t mad at him anymore.

God knows how many strands of hair we have on our head at any given time (Matt. 10:29-31). He knows when each sparrow falls to the ground and says we are more valuable than several sparrows. He took great care to assemble the story you tell about your life.

It may be a grand story, but know even if it doesn’t produce anything useful in another life, it has in yours.

We look at numbers. We look for meteoric impacts, but God leaves the 99 to go after the one (Luke 15:1-7), and that one is you. If your story has produced a deeper understanding of God and better relationship with him, it has been worth it his eyes.

True, God wishes for our lives to be of much usefulness to others, but our job is to abide in the vine, a picture of Jesus. (John 15:1-17). It is the vine – Jesus – who produces the fruit in season. That means in the proper, prepared time. Our job is to concentrate on our how we relate to God.

So don’t pressure yourself. God loves each of us so much, he’s writing a story for our lives and for our eyes. He lavishes love on you, on each of you.

What did you learn in your grief journey that you share with others? Have you ever been frustrated with getting your story out? What helped you press on?


Copyright © 2017 by Toni Lepeska. All rights reserved.


12 Comments Post a comment
  1. Elise Patterson #

    “You are so intimately aware of me…You know every step I will take before my journey even begins!

    You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way and in kindness You follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past.

    With Your hand of love upon my life you impart a Father’s blessing to me. This is just too wonderful, deep & incomprehensible!

    Your UNDERSTANDING brings me wonder and strength!

    You saw who You created me to be, before I became me.” Ps 139

    Great is His faithfulness.
    Good words/work, Toni!


    February 3, 2017
    • Thanks, Elise. I’m glad it was a blessing to you. Thanks for reading and for sharing your thoughts!


      February 3, 2017
  2. Isaiah 55:10″For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, And do not return there without watering the earth And making it bear and sprout, And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; 11 So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it. 12″For you will go out with joy And be led forth with peace; The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, And all the trees of the field will clap their hands.…

    This passage is a constant reminder that my story works within a greater story, one that is guaranteed success!


    February 6, 2017
  3. Reblogged this on Turning the Page on Suicide and commented:
    Just as Joseph lived out his story in an Egyptian prison, he share it with two people and years later one remembered the interpreter of dreams and told Pharaoh. We never know where our story leads in the context of God’s story, but we know that He has the salvation of many in mind.


    February 6, 2017
    • Thanks for sharing this. Great stuff. I had recently been reading and thinking of this Joseph story. It is a great encouragement. God is using his material in many lives!

      Liked by 1 person

      February 6, 2017
  4. Thanks for the reminder that I am an audience, too. I tend to forget that, but it is so true. God so often speaks to me as I write for others.


    February 8, 2017
    • That’s great, Sheryl. BK shared some verses in the comments that go very well with this post. I’m so glad God wriyes a story for each of our lives.


      February 8, 2017
    • Sheryl, that reminds me of a preacher who used to say the message he preached was for him 1st. Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

      February 15, 2017
  5. Wonderfully well said. Very inspiring. I know when I write about my life as a quadriplegic, it helps me more than it helps others. I am thankful that I can share my difficult times with others in hopes it will inspire them to keep moving forward in their own struggles. Thank you for sharing your life, your grief, and your steadfast spirit to overcome the obstacles in your path. I thank God for your courage and your willingness to be transparent.


    February 15, 2017
    • Wow, Terri, what a story you have and what a great attitude. I’m blessed you stopped by. Thanks for reading and for the encouragement. We all have a story to share. Amazing how it helps in the telling of it.


      February 15, 2017
  6. I believe, WordPress is to blogging is like Google is to web search… Your list of top wordpress powered websites is surely a motivation for more bloggers to switch to it!


    April 25, 2017

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