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Do Little Losses Prepare Us for Big Ones?

I wrote earlier this month about a long ago event of betrayal. Of pain. Of grief. Yes, I’m used to writing about grief, but not this grief, not this particular loss.

The Wonder Report published the article My Dream Didn’t Come True, and Here’s Why It Was the Best Thing to Happen I began the story with the moment I realized I’d lost the man I loved. Forever. He probably did not consider his action a betrayal, but I did.

I typically write about loss associated with death. So what does this incident that happened 20 years ago have to do with my writing and my journey of loss?

affection beautiful blur couple

Photo by Pixabay on

Could it be that those “little” griefs along the way prepare us for the “big” griefs?

That’s what this relationship did. In many ways. Not just at the end point. Read more

Who is Protector After Dad is Gone?

Our sense of security is often rooted in our fathers. After my dad died, I called out to God spontaneously, “Send me a protector!”

Where do we find that sense of safety that we lost?

I caution not to go looking for it in a romance. That was my first go-to. I did not realize exactly what I was doing. My reasoning was that God was buffering the loss of my father with a husband-to-be, the lifelong dream of being a wife.IMG

You can imagine the sense of double loss I felt when that security blanket was ripped from my life, too, a year after my father died. Read more

If They Could See Me Now

Do you ever step back and think, “Boy, if they could see me now”? Or maybe you think your parent or spouse is looking down from heaven and smiling at the person you’ve become.

It’s been years, but we want to connect. We want to share. We want the loved one who died to be a part of our lives today – and be proud of the things we’ve done. Or be involved in what is happening – a birth, a career milestone, or visit us at our new home.


I’m ecstatic moments after getting off the subway and discovering the Colosseum across the street. If only my parents could see me now!

If we feel entirely disconnected from our loved one, the thought may bring terrible loneliness and grief. They are not here. They cannot see what we’ve done. They aren’t part of this event.

What do we do with this latest twist to our grief?

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